The passions within our choices:
Over the last decade, our industry has changed dramatically. Understatement. That's like saying "Atlantis has had a minor flooding."
As artists, we have had to find alternative sources of income (whether it be from our art, or in my case, from TV Film placement, or computer software work), in order to feed our passons. Alternative distribution, alternative merchandising, alternative performance venues.
And yet, Art manages to always find a way to the audience. Maybe it takes longer, and like an unstoppable river, it manages to sneak out and present itself.
On that point, there are moments where I wish I had a choice to NOT do music or pursue my artistic endeavours. I don’t have that choice. This can be a difficult thing to explain.
Music and creative ventures (including writing, acting, ) are what I was placed here to do. There is no door #2 for me. Trust me, I’ve tried. Every time I try to deviate from music or my art, it only makes me physically sick and seriously so.
When I’m pursuing my music, or my writing – I feel like I am fulfilling my purpose here on earth and that the time I have been given is so precious and is only to be used for this. And as I grow older, this feeling just becomes stronger. Those of us who pursue our art purpose our whole lives, really do wish we could just choose something else sometimes. It’s all-consuming, all-day, all-night, what I breathe, what I need to do to live. Otherwise, and I mean this seriously, I wither and die.
I wish I could be fulfilled and happy with the M-F job and have 2 kids and a couple of dogs with a house. I really do. But that’s someone else's dream, path, journey and not mine. When one honours one’s purpose, we have a much greater chance of fulfillment, especially when it comes to that last breath (and honours is spelled with a U in Canada). And sure as hell - what I envision on my deathbed is what drives me the most, and has ever since I was a kid: My last breath will be something along the lines of “Yeah, I lived as fully and as full of purpose as I could. And damn, the food was great. And man, i wish I could hear Satellite of Crash by Dave Matthews just once more.”
EPILOGUE: DAVE MATTHEWS ROCKS One of my musical dreams is to write and produce music like Peter Gabriel or Dave Matthews. AND I really admire artists like Dave Matthews – he seems as if he is a good person (ie, anti-Diva) as well as an incredible writer and performer – have you heard his latest album? BUY IT. Stop reading and run to Starbucks (sorry, didn’t mean to shamelessly plug the coffee chain – but that’s where I bought it) and grab a mocha (definitely shameless plug coming up though) and the Matthews album. It kicks ASS. Totally amazing performances, and the songs “Squirm” track 8, and the last track, track 13 ( You and Me) – are my current favorites… It’s a rich album, filled with subtleties… and of course I’m totally in love with Matthews and the amazing talented and genius drummer (and writer), Carter Beauford…
Truly orgasmic playing. (Hoping he might wanna be my boyfriend someday… Actually… hmm. STRIKE that thought. Have dated 2 drummers. Even if he is so damn talented.. the stigma of drummer has left a bad taste in my mouth. Hence why I got smart and married an orgasmically talented bass guy)
Anyways, what I hear on their latest album is what I aspire to write and eventually produce myself one day.
So, folks, my upcoming Standby album will be beautiful, it will be heartfelt and strong, but at the same time, I’ve really only just begun. Rev your engines…. Here I come world. Thank you for allowing me to share.
Love and Peace – R